Modern Technology, Part 2

Remember records? Lovely disks of black plastic (“black wax biscuits” in the vernacular of the day) etched with music. There were 78’s (because they rotated at 78 revolutions per minute), with the music of the Big Bands and songs of the greatest singers that ever lived (my opinion, I could be wrong). There were LP’s (long playing albums) containing not one, but several songs from your favorite artist. They were expensive, costing up to $5.99 per album, but well worth the exorbitant price. Then there were 45’s (your guessed it, 45 revolutions per minute). They contained only one song, but cost under a buck. I have no idea why, but they were manufactured with a big hole in the center requiring a special spindle to play them on your turntable (you guessed it, because it turned round and round). No doubt it was a sinister plot devised by spindle company stock owning politicians.

I loved records. I collected records. I had a collection of over 1000 records including a few dozen classic 78’s, a couple hundred LP’s and several hundred 45’s. I loved them, right up until the day my brother and I sailed them off the lip of the local dump. What’s a dump? That’s another story. They flew like “black wax Frisbees” all the way to the river (yes, the dump was on the bank of a river). What’s a Frisbee? That’s also another story.

I remember the day I heard my first CD. I was shopping at Gaynes, “where you gain more,” (think Wal Mart lite) and heard it from all the way from seven aisles over. The sound filled the store. It was loud, it was clear. Gone were the subtle hisses, pops, and squeaks that embellished my records (maybe not so subtle later on, hence the dump incident). I must admit, I was impressed. I was so impressed that within a couple years I had a collection of over 1000 CD’s. It’s not what you think, I still have them – somewhere – I’m almost sure.

I probably don’t need to bore you with the story of my expansive VHS collection. Suffice it to say, I had a collected over 1000 VHS tapes when DVD’s hit the stores. I’m happy to report that they did not fly off the edge of the dump (there wasn’t a dump anymore, anyway), and they didn’t even end up in the landfill (at least not yet). I was able to sell them all to a local video store for almost a dollar each.

Today I am the proud owner of over 2000 DVD’s. Hello! Is someone not paying attention? I am undaunted by the advent of BluRay. And no, I did not buy a single HD DVD. I’m sure Blu Ray is just a passing fad and will soon be replaced by Red Ray or Orange Ray or whatever the latest Ray may be. I’m sure the features will be phenomenal and include interactive, reactive, proactive and several other active type things. I won’t be buying any BluRay disks. I won’t be buying any future type of Ray disks either. I have discovered NetFlix!