Class Action Lawsuits

I have been notified that I am a plaintiff is a class action lawsuit against Classmates.com. I don’t remember signing up for Classmates.com, but if I’m a plaintiff, I must have signed up, and I’m sure I must have been severely wronged by the actions of what must be a greedy and corrupt conglomerate out to exploit the vulnerabilities of classmates everywhere. I mean, if they weren’t greedy and corrupt, why would I be suing them?

I’m not exactly sure what I am getting if and when I win this lawsuit. It appears it could be as much as $3.00, however more likely $2.00. Unfortunately I won’t be able to spend my $2.00 for just any crazy extravagant purchase I might have imagined. I will, however, be able to upgrade my Classmates.com membership to “Gold” status for $2.00 less than those shortsighted individuals who had neither the insight to recognize how severely they had been hurt, or the vision to take legal action to redress the injury.

Out of curiosity, I went to the Classmates.com website to see just what my savings would get me, only to discover that if I upgrade now I can save $2.50 off the normal $5.00 cost for a three month “Gold Membership.” Imagine my dilemma! Do I upgrade now and save $2.50 or wait until after the lawsuit is settled and maybe save $3.00? I must admit, I’m inclined to wait. After all, there is an important principle involved here.

I agree, my award may not seem like much compensation for my injuries, but I take heart in the knowledge that two of my fellow plaintiffs stand to receive $2500 each. I know they will spend the money wisely, perhaps on a well deserved vacation, and perhaps even drink a toast to all those other plaintiffs who have suffered so much at the hands of Classmates.com.

Of course the attorneys will receive a well-deserved $1,050,000 plus expenses for their extraordinary efforts on my behalf. I mean, the disclosure document alone ran to 66 pages, and it’s just full of very impressive legal-type language. Not to mention the exhaustive work involved in emailing all us plaintiffs and the endless negotiations which will be needed to ensure we all get the $3.00 we deserve, instead of the paltry $2.00 the defendants hope we will settle for.