Tourists Can Be Fun

For several years, I operated a Hawaii air, land and sea, tours and activities, reservations and booking establishment (ad speak for an activity booking desk). Not surprisingly, during those years, I communicated and/or corresponded with many visitors (Okay tourists, but the term tourists is NOT politically correct, don’t get me started). Usually a mundane and occasionally boring task, it was on occasion, quite entertaining.

Working at a Hawaii activity desk, it seems, makes one an expert on everything Hawaiian (even if one has only been in Hawaii for a few weeks, but we’re not telling). And experts, having lots of expertise, get asked lots of questions, intelligent, probing questions on geography like: “I know Hawaii is an island but does the water go all the way around the island?” or “If the Pacific Ocean is on this side of the island, is the Atlantic Ocean on the other side?” I swear, I’m not making this up.

Questions that a concerned traveler might ask about any exotic foreign destination like: “Will I need a passport to get into Hawaii?” or “Do they take American money in Hawaii?” or “Does everyone speak English in Hawaii?” Actually that might be a reasonable question.

Questions about the abundance of varied attractions and activities available, like: “How many whales will be jumping on the whale watching cruise?” or, “What time will the volcano be erupting?” or similarly “What time does the rainbow come out at Rainbow Falls?” or one of my favorites, “Will I get wet if I go snorkeling?”

It is, of course, understandable that visitors want to learn about places they visit, and it’s certainly reasonable that information be garnered. We might expect questions about the tallest mountain like: “If I go to the top of Mauna Kea, can I see California?” or “I know how tall Mauna Kea is but how much does it weigh?” or “If I weigh 200 pounds at sea level, how much will I weigh at the top of Mauna Kea?” I might reply (I shouldn’t, but I might), “Well it depends, will you drive to the top of Mauna Kea or will you walk?”

It is also understandable that visitors want to collect souvenirs of their visit to Hawaii. Despite laws and kapus (taboos, in English) against collecting such things as lava, coral, and black sand, tons of the stuff leaves Hawaii every year. Ironically, tons of the stuff also return to Hawaii via mail, Fed Ex or UPS, when the collector thereafter experiences chronic bad luck (predicted in Hawaiian legend) as a punishment for their crime. Not ‘kapu’, however is the collecting of many other things, especially the abundant artifacts available in souvenir shops that blanket the state including the popular Kilauea Volcano Clock (crafted from real lavalike plastic by skilled Chinese artisans).

Also not kapu is the collecting of water. I reference the lovely lady who proudly told us of her collection of bottles of different colored ocean water from around the island. And she could have taken her collection home without incident, except that her bottles contained more than three ounces of water each. But that’s another story.

11/03/10